HOW-TO-COLLEGE
Direct Mail for 200+ Universities
I remember I'd been there for two weeks. I remember my boss was wearing a Hawaiian shirt that I found distinctly unattractive. I remember I was playing Snood.
"Here, intern," he said. "You're in college. Take a stab at writing a postcard that's gonna make 20-somethings shop at EMS."
I wrote 15 cards, EMS earned a few million dollars, and I decided I really liked copywriting.
Direct Mail for 200+ Universities
I remember I'd been there for two weeks. I remember my boss was wearing a Hawaiian shirt that I found distinctly unattractive. I remember I was playing Snood.
"Here, intern," he said. "You're in college. Take a stab at writing a postcard that's gonna make 20-somethings shop at EMS."
I wrote 15 cards, EMS earned a few million dollars, and I decided I really liked copywriting.
How to deal #69:Fear not. Without waking what's his/her-face, use your Eastern MountainSports
binoculars to scan the room for remnants of last night'srendezvous. Look for purses or pants that may
contain ID. If all elsefails, leave a note and high tail it to the libes in your EMS shoes. Noone will look for
you there.
How to deal #68: To theparking lot. Your Eastern Mountain Sports portable stove and mountainchairs
were made for this. Kick back while your buds serve up burgersand beer on an Eastern Mountain
Sports mess kit. When gametime rollsaround, pack up the party and head to the bleachers. Go Tigers. Or
whoever.
binoculars to scan the room for remnants of last night'srendezvous. Look for purses or pants that may
contain ID. If all elsefails, leave a note and high tail it to the libes in your EMS shoes. Noone will look for
you there.
How to deal #68: To theparking lot. Your Eastern Mountain Sports portable stove and mountainchairs
were made for this. Kick back while your buds serve up burgersand beer on an Eastern Mountain
Sports mess kit. When gametime rollsaround, pack up the party and head to the bleachers. Go Tigers. Or
whoever.
How to deal #71: Sweet dreams may be out of the question, but there's still hope for getting a round or
two of precious REM cycles. Grab your Eastern Mountain Sports sleeping bag and hit up the lounge.
Couches taken? Throw a pad on the floor and curl up knowing you'll be more comfortable than two
people crammed into a twin-sized bed.
How to deal #70: CHANGE. The size of Campo's derriere will buy you at least 8 minutes. Put on your
Eastern Mountain Sports Techwick Shirt - this will convey to the hottie on your hall that, even in the wee
hours of the morning, you're up for an adventure. On your way out, grab the Eastern Mountain Sports
cooler and throw in some drinks. Hell, if you can turn a fire drill into a party, who gives if you smell.
two of precious REM cycles. Grab your Eastern Mountain Sports sleeping bag and hit up the lounge.
Couches taken? Throw a pad on the floor and curl up knowing you'll be more comfortable than two
people crammed into a twin-sized bed.
How to deal #70: CHANGE. The size of Campo's derriere will buy you at least 8 minutes. Put on your
Eastern Mountain Sports Techwick Shirt - this will convey to the hottie on your hall that, even in the wee
hours of the morning, you're up for an adventure. On your way out, grab the Eastern Mountain Sports
cooler and throw in some drinks. Hell, if you can turn a fire drill into a party, who gives if you smell.
How to deal #72: Five minutes to class? You're golden. Snag the soap and beeline for the bathroom. But
wait...are you barefoot?! Look, just because you shower in the same stall everyday doesn't mean it's
clean. Unless you want the bottom of your foot to grow its own Bio lab, you'd better throw on the
thongs. Eastern Mountain Sports has all kinds of footwear to keep fungus at bay, but until then...we
suggest walking on tip-toes.
wait...are you barefoot?! Look, just because you shower in the same stall everyday doesn't mean it's
clean. Unless you want the bottom of your foot to grow its own Bio lab, you'd better throw on the
thongs. Eastern Mountain Sports has all kinds of footwear to keep fungus at bay, but until then...we
suggest walking on tip-toes.
